Boundaries.. We always hear this word. “You have to have boundaries.” “Make sure people are respecting your boundaries.” “You’re only as good as your boundaries.” “Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.” This word seems to constantly come up, but what does it mean? What even are boundaries? Well, let’s get into it. Boundaries are specific to the individual and are developed through our own personal experiences in life. Boundaries are formed as a means of protecting our space, emotions, and well-being. They essentially help us maintain self-care, foster healthy relationships, reduce stress, and empower ourselves by ensuring our needs and values are respected.
Given that people can’t read our minds, boundaries are essential for healthy connections and maintaining good mental health. Establishing boundaries helps us communicate our needs clearly, which can help prevent feelings of resentment due to not having our needs met. When we set boundaries, we communicate our self-worth and expectations for how we deserve to be treated. Boundaries protect us against being taken advantage of. They allow us to step into authenticity and self-acceptance by enabling us to express ourselves without fear of judgment. This is a form of radical acceptance, and it’s extremely necessary in order to comfortably establish boundaries.
When you honor your boundaries by reinforcing and maintaining them, you are honoring yourself. This is why it’s so important to develop boundaries. Don’t expect to see loyalty within your friends and loved ones if you can’t even be loyal to yourself. Establishing boundaries is an act of self-love. You are disloyal to yourself anytime you allow someone to cross your boundaries. When we set boundaries, we communicate our self-worth and expectations for how we deserve to be treated, which boosts our confidence and sense of value.
Lack of Boundaries Leads to Betrayal
If you lack boundaries or don’t know how to maintain them, you’re most likely someone who experiences a lot of betrayal. People you thought you could trust, people you thought you fostered a connection with. They all end up betraying you in one way or another. That’s that Judas spirit becoming apparent in your life. Energetically following you around from person to person. Whether you’re Christian, Catholic, or another religion, I’m sure you’ve heard the story of Jesus Christ and his disciples. Amongst his 12 disciples was a treacherous soul named Judas. Judas was one of Jesus’s followers, his supposed confidant or friend. Only we all know how the story ends: Judas betrays his beloved friend, Jesus Christ. Judas went against Jesus, even though he was supposed to be his loyal disciple.
Judas, in this case, is metaphorically symbolic of self-betrayal, because again, a lack of boundaries is a lack of loyalty to oneself. You’re being Judas to yourself when you don’t express and maintain your boundaries. If you would stand up for your friend, why not for yourself? It all comes down to being an ally to yourself.
Florence Scovel Shinn once said, “Life is a mirror, and we find only ourselves reflected in our associates.” This means that whenever we come across an individual, there is something within their energy that is in alignment with yours. So if you struggle with expressing your boundaries, you will most likely have people in your life who betray you. This is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself. By not expressing and maintaining your boundaries, you are betraying yourself. All of that inner chaos eventually begins to manifest in your reality. Hence, self-betrayal then attracts betrayal from those around you.
When you don’t maintain boundaries, you are inauthentic to yourself. You’re essentially betraying yourself by not speaking up for your needs. Everybody who has betrayed you is a reflection of how you’ve betrayed yourself in a sense by not speaking up and expressing your boundaries. The spirit of Judas will continue to follow you around, and you’ll continue to experience betrayal until you start being loyal to yourself. When you begin to honor your boundaries, that’s when you metaphorically step into Mary Magdalene energy. Mary Magdalene stood strong in her convictions. She stood by the side of Jesus Christ. Regardless of this, for years, she was demonized. She didn’t get her flowers for being one of Jesus’ loyal followers. The Catholic Church didn’t want to recognize her for the role that she played next to Jesus Christ. They slandered her name and tore down her image. Only to now deem her a model of faithfulness, devotion, and loyalty. Maintaining your boundaries isn’t always easy because there are people who will try to test them. This honestly can be due to a plethora of reasons. Sometimes people lack boundaries themselves, so they’ll see it as a challenge to their character when you establish your boundaries. It could also be the case in which people are accustomed to being accommodated by you because they know that you have people-pleasing tendencies. Guys, I’ve unfortunately had so many experiences like this. When I love, I love hard, and for a long time I did so in the absence of boundaries. This essentially led me to endure straight-up bullying and negative energy from people that I perceived as “friends” and “family” at the time. It took me a lot of introspection to realize that I was totally making myself small in order to please the toxic people I had in my life, who would intentionally try to make me feel small. It’s crazy, but the concept of boundaries was something that was foreign to me, and because of that, I allowed myself to deal with a lot of toxicity at the hands of insecure “friends” and “family” members that I once was connected to. As I established my boundaries, I began to grow into a better version of myself, and this is because I began to truly be loyal to myself. Once I removed the people from my life who refused to respect me and tried to test my boundaries, I stepped out of that Judas energy and into that Mary Magdalene vibrancy. I started being loyal to myself.
Start Being Loyal to Yourself
Don’t dim your light, don’t bite your tongue, and definitely don’t hold back on your boundaries because every time you do this, you are being a Judas to yourself. Step into your Mary Magdalene energy by standing up for yourself by establishing your boundaries. Walk away from people who don’t respect those boundaries and don’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Boundaries is how you get rid of the Judas energy in your life. The energy of people betraying you is the energy of you betraying yourself.
When you step into your Mary Magdalene energy, you honor your boundaries. You attract people who are loyal to you and respect you because you do the same for yourself. Absolutely do not allow someone to convince you that love and a lack of boundaries are synonymous. This is something I think is important to mention because manipulation is always a tactic that some people will use in order to challenge your boundaries and essentially gain control over your emotions. Remember that when someone truly loves you, that means that they respect you and your boundaries. Respect is synonymous with boundaries, as boundaries are to love. Never forget that. Always be willing to walk away from anybody who disrespects your boundaries. The right people will always honor you, and it will be as clear as day.
Radical Self-Acceptance
If you’re someone who struggles with establishing boundaries, then chances are you have a lot of repressed shame, which bleeds into people pleasing. This usually happens when you’ve tried to establish a boundary in the past and have been met with resistance by family, friends, and loved ones. When this happens repeatedly, when someone tries to test your boundaries, challenge them, or borderline gaslight you, this can subconsciously cause you to dim your light. This can cause it to be difficult to speak up and express boundaries. This is because we develop a subconscious belief that our boundaries aren’t worthy of being honored because of these past experiences. This is simply fear that you’re feeding into. FEAR is false evidence appearing real, and I say this because it is an absolute lie to believe that you aren’t worthy of having your boundaries honored. Your boundaries should always be honored, and anyone who thinks otherwise doesn’t deserve a seat at your table. Radical self-acceptance is the best way to combat this shame that subconsciously manifests itself as people-pleasing tendencies. When you step into the energy of radical self-acceptance, you tell your subconscious mind that you respect yourself, and naturally you will receive intuitive nudges on your personal boundaries. Honor yourself by honoring your boundaries. Stand strong in your convictions regardless of how much opposition you have, and always speak up. God gave you a voice so you can use it. Start being loyal to yourself. Develop, establish, and maintain your boundaries.
Thank you guys for taking the time to read this blog. If you liked this take, then make sure to give me some feedback in the comment section because I would love to hear it. Keep growing, because it’ll keep you glowing! Love you guys!
